The barbaric growth of post-1995 town girls: having dinner with 100 strangers, "exchanging life" with stories, "I just like my own recklessness"
The barbaric growth of post-1995 town girls: having dinner with 100 strangers, "exchanging life" with stories, "I just like my own recklessness"


Marriage and Family Magazine

with a single voice, she grew up from a small town girl to an inspirational writer who influenced and changed others, recording stories of many people, and influencing more young people to explore infinite possibilities, and this is exactly the life she most wants to experience.

published his first article at the age of 18 and his first book at the age of 21. Now he has published his sixth book. Yan Xiaoyu has been using words to help more young people explore the infinite possibilities of life.


falling in love with writing starts from high school. Yan Xiaoyu was born in Siziwangqi Town, Wulanchabu City, Inner Mongolia Autonomous region. Her parents divorced and she lived with her mother.

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in order to earn money to support her family, my mother was busy all day, and Yan Xiaoyu went to school early.

when it comes to puberty, the confusion of the original family, the contradiction between mother and daughter, the throbbing of teenage feelings. All the inextricable emotions were poured into her pen and filled with dozens of thick diaries.

gradually, Yan Xiaoyu was no longer satisfied with writing his own thoughts, but began to write campus novels and contribute to magazines. Such "out of line" behavior was soon discovered by my mother. "if you write these useless things every day, what if you can't get into college?" Mother tore up her manuscript angrily. After many conflicts, she had to write secretly and contribute secretly.

persistence finally paid off, and her first youth novel was published in the Story in September 2013. That year, she was only 18 years old and was a freshman in Tianjin.

when he got the first payment in his life, Yan Xiaoyu was in full bloom. She invited her best classmates to go to Fifth Avenue for coffee. "it was the first time I stepped into a coffee shop. It was the best coffee I've ever had." This unprecedented experience made her feel how interesting it would be if life could create many firsts.

since then, her articles have become type one after another. My mother thousands of miles away no longer objected, but silently collected every sample book she sent back to her hometown. The love for words is like a flame, burning in Yan Xiaoyu's heart.

she often draws the curtain, writes on the dormitory bed, turns off the lights at night, and runs to the corridor with her computer to continue writing. Contributing to the print media, signing up with literary websites and being the editor-in-chief of an e-magazine, she is tossing about like a fish in a sea of words.

in his sophomore year, Yan Xiaoyu won an internship at a magazine in Beijing every weekend. "I want to get in touch with more real people."

to this day, she still remembers her first independent interview. In the face of the highly respected old painter, although he plucked up his courage, he still could not hide his cramped heart. The old painter comforted her: "just chat with me as your friend."

then she took her interview book and flipped through it, and it was full of materials she had prepared in advance.

"he was shocked and the interview went very well.

"this attempt convinced her that nothing can be done as long as she dares to break through and do it with her heart.

this internship experience had a profound impact on Yan Xiaoyu. The interviewees' attitude towards life that "they may not be very rich, but live a steaming life" deeply affected her. "I decided to go to Beijing after graduation, because I was close to someone. Will eventually be who."

when the news came back to my hometown, my relatives and friends objected with one voice: "A girl, stop messing around." Only her mother understands her:

"No matter what you have experienced in Beijing, when you return to your hometown, people will envy you for having a life they have never experienced before."

her mother's words gave her infinite strength in an instant.

with his previous writing experience, Yan Xiaoyu soon joined a media company in Beijing. The brand-new environment has aroused Yan Xiaoyu's strong creative desire. The shared house is so empty that there is not even a writing table.

in the summer of 2016, the dream of writing finally blossomed and borne fruit. With the good news that the first book, "you can be what you like," went public, Yan Xiaoyu excitedly returned to his hometown.

on a moonlit night, the branches of the big tree stretched out to the sky. Yan Xiaoyu talked with his mother all night and inadvertently asked, "Mom, do you have a dream?" My mother meditated for a long time and replied, "my dream is you. I hope you can live the way you like." Tears fall silently and violently.

"at that moment, I knew that no matter how far I went, my mother was the one who loved me unconditionally."


dare to be ten thousand times more important

Yan Xiaoyu is full of energy. In her own words, "I dare what others dare not do." I am a person who doesn't care about gains and losses. As long as I like something, even if I invest a lot and the result is not satisfactory, I have to do it. "

in May 2019, Yan Xiaoyu launched a series of activities to "eat with 100 strangers". At first, there were concerns. What if no one signed up? What if I can't write well? But no matter how much you worry, you can't beat the courage to "do what you love".

"I yearn for people who live in all kinds of interesting ways on other channels." But I have only one heart and one body, and I have no way to really experience a completely different life. Therefore, in the process of eating and chatting, I can exchange a part of my life with you in the way of 'story'. "

in the three years after the post was posted, more than 500 people signed up one after another. in the end, she ate and chatted with more than 40 people, and included the stories of 22 of them in her new book Life of the School of experience. What impresses me most is the story of Liang Kui, a female doctor of digital vagrants.

Liang Xun is a frank and straightforward Beijing girl and a female doctor who came out of the University of Hong Kong, Cambridge and Duke Lab. She walked through 126 with a computer.The country. "I like this digital nomadic way, traveling while working in a place I like. Just make sure that place has electricity and Wi-Fi."

once upon a time, Liang worked in a small town in Canada. There are some talented engineers and scientists from all over the world, most of whom already have fame and assets in their original field, but they are willing to give up their pursuit of material desires and survive by taking small jobs. In the cold winter, everyone is cooped up in a bar, drinking, chatting, and enjoying the simplest happiness of the moment.

"what a shock. They look so ordinary, but they have their own vast world. " "there is no 'inner volume' in this world. The most important thing is to know what you want and bravely choose a different way of life. There is no need to limit yourself. " Liang Kui's words resonated deeply with Yan Xiaoyu.

both girls, the two naturally talked about the appearance anxiety that plagued many girls. Liang had such troubles when she was a teenager, but later, her outstanding studies gradually made her find her pride. "you shouldn't give girls so many rules, as long as you can find something you love." it's enough that you have a little beauty in your heart. " That night, they hit it off and talked about a lot of topics that young people were concerned about until the night was deep.